I used to hate materialism.

When I was a young cynic (like the rest of American youth), I hated all things materialistic. I thought capitalism was fascism and vice versa, but now I might as well be Madonna.  I love getting presents and giving them, although I like giving more because it's like a puzzle/game to me. I mention this, because today is the pinnacle of materialism. An entire day based on buying your sweetheart something pretty. I partly hated today before because I was alone and bitter, so I half-truth invented my hatred of materialism.

Now, I love Valentine's day. I don't know who St. Valentine is, as a history person you think I would lap that up, but I'm not Catholic and I have no desire to familiarize myself with Saints (New Orleans excluded).

I'm in love, because I have a pretty fantastic boyfriend, and my life is all fluffy clouds, rainbows, butterflies, and puppies. I didn't get to actually spend the day with him, because I had to drive back to school which is an hour and a half away from my home town. We're in a long-distance-ish relationship that aspect is the bulk of our issues. We had a date night like thing last night, which included eating and watching a movie with our best friends.

Friday night it began to snow in Gastonia, and I have to admit I played more in the snow there than I ever do in Boone, despite there being a whole lot more of it here. My best friend and I had a snowball fight with my brother and his best friend, and then the four of us went sledding. We won the snowball fight by the way. It might be impressive if you knew my brother and his friend are a couple years older than we are, and we still managed to peg them in the face more (which is always the measure of victory).

Now, look at how adorable me and whatshisface are:

It's because I'm selfish.

It's not those things you forget to do.
It's not the uncertainty that you paint your face with.
It's not that we disagree.
It's not all those things about you that piss me off.
It's not you.
It's not me.
It's the cosmos. The universe. Fate. Destiny. Celestial Forces. God. Buddha. Geomagnetism.
It's nothing.

I love you.

There is no changing that. Since I'm even more stubborn than you are, I don't care if the universe kicks me when I'm down. Or it shouldn't be. I don't believe in fate or destiny. So, why leave my love to the selfishness of the universe? I refuse. I'm going to love you until the day I die, even if you remain forever away. I'm not letting go. No matter how much the childish, attention whorish part of my brain wants to concede. So, don't make any plans you can't fit me into.

It's the distance.
But I forgive you anyway.

(But you can go ahead and move to Boone, if you don't mind.)